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I was meant to sing a song at the funeral of a friend, a friend who committed suicide. And my heart was too broken.
Some tragedies you expect from God. I’d gotten used to the kinds of things He allows, the kind of things He uses. But this, this suicide of a strong pillar of a believer, somehow this caught me off guard, tilted the world off its axis, like God, who holds the whole world in His hands, fumbled for a second.
This, I know He does not do, but I definitely fumbled my grip on Him.
And so, my heart too broken to sing to God the song she requested for her funeral, I began writing this, on whatever scrap of paper I could find, scribbled front and back, a tearful cry to the God who would have to catch me, because I could not catch hold of Him.